àu-déssus dé

àu-déssus dé

it is all over and i shall end my post-drought with reflection.
the exams have been rather eventful and memorable this year. for the first time in my life, for my mid years, i scored below 70 average and for a moment, i lost my academic invincibilty to use my results as a bargaining chip at home. constantly, i my freedom being pinned down by my mid years and it seems that just a single bad result can devour my parent’s faith in me. assombrir

and so, i decided to study even harder with instilled vigor. i have always been seen as very smart, which i humbly and subtlely deny(what a lie), bacause of my consistent results. i’m just simply hardworking. and ironically, that isn’t very true either.

anway, to my exams. i initially aimed to get 8a1s and a pass for my chinese. and throughout the course of the exams, i have been rather regrettably carefree and i’m afraid i cannot achieve that. my bio, emath, chem, eng, hist were all rather easy and satisfying. but my art, which i was stressed so much over, i fear will return next year to torment me. and my amath…i worked so hard for it. and i screwed it up by going for the paper late. luckily i was able to salvage it. and my chinese, in true singaporean spirit, it was badd laaa…haha

and all the time in the buildup to my exams was probably the most stressful but the most rewarding. and i would like to thank many people. i still remember the time straight after mid years. we were all desperate to find chemistry tuition. haha. advent learning was really fun but it had to end.

to my dear sister: thank you for the time during my art exams where you did all you could to help and i snubbed you. and for helping me with amath and chem, although you weren’t the best teacher…haha. and thank you especially for being so damn hardworking. mum and dad have always pressured me to do as well as you in my studies but i can never achive the benchmark you’ve set. but in my attempts to, you’ve made me who i am.

to n209: thank you all for praying for me constantly, especially pat and tiff. and i really want to thank tiffany for doing my attendance and follow up for me during my absence. it was really nice i really appreciate it. and thanks for the smarties. haha. service really touches me and thanks tiff for surprising me with random messages, it was very…unexpected and sweet. and abt your “important decision”, don’t let us hold you back. unleash your full potential upon the world in a barage of fast paced talking. haha thanks all of you.

and to all the others including my classmates and my friends.

actually, i realised how much i’ve been absent in n209. usually, i’ll be out with friends and i hadn’t invested the time to spend with my own cell group. that sunday, out with zhi hao and tiff for just lunch, and i realised how much i’ve missed. noisy and irritating as it was listening to those 2 bicker over bible study and ruth and gerald…hahaha…i actually long to be included. and it was quite embarassing for a new member like zhi hao to know more then me abt tiffany, whom i’ve know for 3 years. and i was very lost. can’t wait to go out with you guys again.

lately, i have felt very challenged by many people in my prayer time and relationship with God. to me, the most appealing trait of a person, is their abibily to challenge my faith. after receiving so many messages from people who said they would pray for me, i counted how many people i really pray for. i usually set my target to be abt 3 and a half hours a week of prayer time which adds up to half an hour a day. and i usually end up praying for 5-10mins and then compress everything into 1 day with a super long prayer to fulfill the entire week. and i’ve been challenged by various people to make sure my prayer time is really half an hour a day…which will give me an oppurtunity to extend it after i maintain consistency.

i think God just chose this time to bless me. no tos much through my results but through the people around me. i had no idea how unified the cell group was. i always viewed cell groups as just a bunch of people you hang around, counsel or be counselled, and grow together but just maintain a superficial relationship. i’ve had so many superficial relationships throughout the cells that all i know abt the person is his/her name and school…and how to make fun of the person. and once again i was challenged to be a nicer person. not that i’m not nice, but i would like to change my habits of only making people laugh through harmless “fun-poking”, but actually do small things for people, just like a servant. i was quite touched by tiff for making the effort to show her support during my exams even though i don’t really deserve it. after all, all i do is make fun of her and blackmail her through her unglam pics. thanks again.

funny, how God helped me through my chinese paper, and at the same time help me grow. the last comprehension passage was about focusing on people’s strengths and not dwell only on their weaknesses. and usually, i wouldn’t understand a word, but God opened up my eyes and i actually understood the passage for once. God works in illustrious and unimaginable ways.

and even through the tiresome exam period, there came arise and build 2006. and i was already so worn out. and i have never been blessed so much in my life before. last year, i gave $1300 for building fund, which is a huge sum for me and i struggled to fulfill it. but it seemed that God provided for me to give and in surplus.

last year, my monthly pocket money was $200. my parents suddenly blessed me with a laptop which costs $1300. and during that time, i couldn’t even fulfill it with $200. in 6 months, even if i gave everything, it would only amount to $1200. and as if on cue, my parents decided to give me jobs here and there, and i earned about $800 over the 6 months. and immediately after i fulfilled it, my parents increased my pocket money to $250.

and i look back and see how much i’ve been blesses, and i know there is a God. being a tither, i must say that God has been blessing me everytime i tithe without fail. since the last arise and build, my pocket money has been raised time and time again. and i know that God knows that I want to give a huge amount this time round, and he has been preparing for me to give. in 6 months, my pocket money has double and now its $400 a month plus another job my parents gave me paying $100 a month. and my blessing has overflowed to chuan yu, who got job from my parents at $75 a month for just 4 hours of work. so i would like to encourage everyone to really give to the Lord in faith.

this whole year has just been so wonderful. south was so great. n209 has really grown closer. and we have all grown so much…especially me cos i’m probably taller than you..harhar. and i couldn’t have imagined it to be this way. what a mighty God we serve.

i am devoted to God. it is signed, sealed and delivered. and theres only satisfaction.
engagé totalement, entièrement dévoué, manière totalement satisfaisante.

~ by siphon on October 12, 2006.