pointless

ever had that feeling of hopelessness, when you’ve exhausted every possible option to solve your present predicament. yet, even when you know it won’t work, you still invest all your energy into trying to make it work.

even if your attempts are sorely lacking in significance,
and its destitute of, deficient in, or contrary to sense,
and if its devoid of meaning or any sense of effectiveness,
still, you continue to try with earnest efforts,
believing it will pull true. (pardon the pun)

well today i was found in a very perculiar quandary…it was dumb but mostly my doing

i…was locked out of my own house. a very loserish position to be in
but it wasn’t the final realisation that i was in fact unable to enter my own house that was tormenting. but it was actually my own foolishness laughing at me. i was struggling to decide whether to go to ultra boring art museum thingy or go home and slack. so i was at the bus stop contemplating my options. and i wished i called home when i was thinking of it…but again, my laziness has punished me. a simple call home would have saved me the long 25min walk all the way in.

so there i was, locked out of my own house. and in my frustration, i tried to pull open the gate with my bare hands but of course, i just burned the skin of my hands. same with the backdoor…i’m afraid i broke the door handle. haha. but i refused to admit defeat. it was that kind of refusal to admit defeat and come to a more sensible decision. and so i continued to think of ways to enter my house, one being to climb in through the balcony.
crazy, desperate and stupid.

and in my desperation, i went searching for any kind of wire that i could find, just to satisfy my inner being that i tried my best to break into my own house. i managed to fine a wire like thread in my neighbour’s cupboard and i…being the best at spoiling(and repairing) things, went on to attempt to pick the lock. in the process, i broke a nail. boohoo. oh well, it was that refusal to give up that made me waste another half an hour trying…and hoping that each time it would be different.”
the gate didn’t budge.

and so i had no choice but to head to the clinic. but of course, being the lazy pig i am, i had to catch a nice nap. and to top my loserish day off, i missed my shuttle bus out and spent half an hour walking around the estate in sheer defeat and bewilderment.

oh well. i shall never forget my keys again. silimanto verche

~ by siphon on July 19, 2006.